On a midnight drive with two buddies and I
I turned and I looked at my friends
I said with a frown
You can roll ’em all down
‘Cause somebody has just broke wind

Well they did their best to deny and protest
They hadn’t started no breeze
But I said, “Just the same,
I know I ain’t to blame,
and yet somebody is cuttin’ the cheese.”

Well we argued a while
Through the midnight miles
And we stopped at a little cafe
An old waitress in jeans
Said, “Our specialty’s beans.”
We said, “Take them things away!”

Well, she must have overheard our jokin’ words
About the crime with no confession
‘Cause when we looked up from our coffee cups
Oh, you should have seen her expression

Well we made some tries to apologize
If we’d said something that might offend
She said, “No dear, I hear a lot worse in here
But it sounds like you met our friend.”
And as she spoke, the whole cafe crowded around

Well ten years it’s been since he walked in
Just rememberin’ gives me a chill
Right over there he sat
Wearing a ten gallon hat
His buddies called him Big Bill

Well he ate our beans ’til he busted his jeans
Then he waddled on out to the car
And from what I heard, and I believe every word
Them boys didn’t drive very far

Things got strange as the atmosphere changed
They all started gasping for breath
With looks that would kill they turned to Big Bill
Said, “Bill, you’re gassin’ us to death!”

But he wouldn’t quit it
He wouldn’t even admit it
And that got ’em incredibly peaved
And when they got the next whiff
They was right by a cliff
And that’s where they gave Big Bill the heave

Oh the wind! How it blows!
Where it starts, no one knows

Well, he never was found
But he might be around
We can’t be sure where he went
‘Cause drivers out there
Sometimes they swear
That often they pick up his scent
So have another cup before you get up
And say a little prayer to your maker
‘Cause though it was unwanted
Tonight you was haunted
By The Phantom Windbreaker

Driftin’ alone in the air
Now The Phantom’s everywhere!


  1. Erick

    October 22, 2021 at 5:52 am

    loved it

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